My Epicanthic Fold

For whatever reason, people often mistake me for having a non-Caucasian ethnic identity, when in fact my family, as far as I know, is as white as they come. Whenever anyone asks what my heritage is, I usually toss off the standard Irish-German-Scottish reply. However, there are people who are sometimes surprised by this as they thought I was Hawaiian or Puerto Rican (usually after some time spent in the tanning bed) or even Asian, which my boyfriend, whose family is originally from Hong Kong, thinks is hysterical. And my friends who have known me forever think it's funny too but hey, I don't make up the fact that people sometimes randomly ask me, "So, what are you"?

My guess is that usually these questions come because of the shape of my eyes, which have been described as almond-shaped or exotic, as my mom calls them. These eyes are one of the strongest genetic traits in my dad's family and while I was growing up in my small town, people were able to discern who my family was because of them. As for my own personal feelings about my eyes, I was always happy with the color but not necessarily the shape. I felt they lent to the feeling that I didn't fit the definition of what beautiful is (and sometimes these feelings still linger, which I continue to work through...). However, now that my father is no longer alive, I feel lucky that I have his eyes, as they are an everyday reminder of how proud I am to have been his daughter.



As is usual these days, I decided to put off doing school work tonight and do some research into whether or not I could put a name to these eyes of mine. It turns out I have an epicanthic fold, which according to Wikipedia, is a skin fold of the upper eyelid covering the inner corner of the eye. Although this trait is most commonly found in people of East Asian descent, interestingly enough many people of Slavic and Nordic descent have this fold as well. There was also a mention of the Saami reindeer herding tribes of Iceland...


So perhaps I will have to dig deeper into that family tree of mine someday and see what exactly I can find...

The World's Lamest Blogger

Has it really been two months since my last post? Sadly, yes. And I can't even say that it's been due to the complete and utter change to my life since August. While it's true that much has happened and I've been busy with school and work, I have still managed to waste quite a bit of time on Facebook, which as many others would agree, is quite addictive. One would think I would have been able to find one scrap of a moment to post about my excitement when the fall issue of Sephora's catalog arrived in my mailbox or about a thousand other little fun tidbits, but no. Behold, laziness at it's finest. And I would say that the fact I am posting right now has more to do with paper-writing procrastination than anything else...

What are the important events that have taken place since last I managed to write? Only the birth of my niece and the start of my new life as a graduate student, to name a few... But in my defense, I think both have been so monumental that I'm not even sure I could put my various thoughts and feelings into words that would make sense.

So perhaps, I will do a better job this time around... It remains to be seen.

Social Networking At Its Finest...

I just spent the past hour of my life creating a Facebook account. AND I joined Twitter a few weeks ago. AND I have been maintaining a MySpace account for almost three years now...

I had been told by a number of people that Facebook is the new MySpace but didn't think I'd want to commit to the upkeep of two social networking sites; however, I talked to a friend today who I would never think to be a social network site kind of gal and even she has created a Facebook account. So, of course I had to check it out. I was amazed at how many people are on Facebook and not MySpace. It's crazy. Personally, I like the look and layout of MySpace better but I love the search functions that Facebook provides. So, now I am hooked. I need to try and get it out of my system before school starts or I fear it may impede on my studies...

My Favorite Show About Fashion

I love to watch TV shows that have anything to do with fashion, make-up, hair... basically anything girly. My favorite fashion show and the one that all others must live up to is TLC's What Not To Wear. As far as I'm concerned, Stacy London and Clinton Kelly are a god and goddess among mortals when it comes to their fashion insights and directives. I very much appreciate the diversity of the participants on the show and how they never make women feel bad about their bodies but rather show them how to dress whatever body nature gave them and how to do it well (yay for size acceptance!).

I especially love when the participant has a body type similar to mine! I have a classic apple shape and as a petite, chubby woman with an ample bosom, I have learned that the structured jacket, paired with an A-line or a pencil skirt, is my best friend. The wrap dress is too. Oh, and that a pointy-toed shoe helps elongate short legs. And of course, I never miss the ten minutes near the end of show when Nick and Carmindy work their hair and make-up magic.

It's not uncommon for me to walk around and wonder what Stacy and Clinton would say about whatever ensemble I have thrown on my body for the day. Of course, while I would like to think I have a respectable wardrobe, I can't help but wonder what it would be like have a 2-day $5,000 shopping spree in New York. That's why I get so irritated with the women who agree to be on the show and then complain the entire time. Hello? They get thousands of dollars worth of clothing, a free trip to the Big Apple and they walk away with better self-esteem! Sometimes I wish I dressed atrociously enough just for the experience (ok - not really. I take pride in trying not to look hideous...)

So, check it out on TLC, Fridays at 9pm. AND, if you're really lucky, you'll stumble across an all-day Saturday marathon!

And Now, the World's Biggest Dork...

I love school supplies. No really, I loooove them. And now that I'm preparing for college classes once again, I've had many an opportunity to see what's new for the back-to-school set. I've bought highlighters, some folders, pens, and my trusty new laptop. But I was really on the prowl for 1/2" binders (I'm very particular...) so my boyfriend and I spent a lovely 45 minutes in Staples tonight, where I was taking advantage of the buy-two-get-one free binder sale. But best of all was the brand new planner and corresponding zippered case I purchased. I was so happy, I did a little dance. Okay, a big dance. Alright, I did a full-on jig...

Now I have to return the other planner I bought at Barnes & Nobles. Yes, I had already spent a good 30 minutes yesterday picking out a new planner for the pending school year and was convinced it probably wouldn't be just right (As you can tell, I take my planner buying very seriously - I love planners with the same fervor as school supplies). I was telling myself I should try something new; something different than what I had been using to plan my work day the last few years. So, I bought a lovely little planner - clad in a very collegiate navy blue faux leather binder. I even bought a fun, artsy pencil case to match. But alas, it wasn't meant to be. The Staples planner and it's matching case was simply too exciting to pass up. Yes, it's the same planner I've used for years but it's all good. See, the calendar inside it is for the school year and so it's different enough that I can revel in it's comfort but still feel I have something new and fun for the school year.

Yes, it's true. I am a big dork. But at least I'm a dork who is organized with a thoroughly planned out schedule... Happiness is truly in a calendar.

A New Beginning

And so after many, many months of planning and talking and planning and talking, I am sitting here on a Monday morning and am NOT at work. It's weird and yet liberating at the same time. It was nice to not have that sense of dread last night, trying to psych myself up to go to a job for which I no longer had any passion.

Now comes the hard part... finding a job (or two) to get me through the next few years while I'm in school. I have some leads but am finding the general lack of professionalism I keep coming up against to be a bit irritating, to say the least. Of course, it's not like I was dealing with all that much more professionalism when I was employed by the great state of Ohio. My boyfriend tells me I expect too much...

I have quite an extensive list of things to do (making lists helps me feel I maintain some sense of control over my life - do I have control issues? You bet.) and first on the list is cleaning my ridiculously dirty apartment. And I will probably need to get groceries. And do laundry. And, oh yeah, that job search thing again...

Right now, my life is good. I refuse to look back and continually fret and wonder if I made the right decision about leaving my very stable and rather handsomely rewarded job (yes, crime does pay - it's sad but true...). The entire time I was wondering whether or not I was making a big mistake, I would look deep down into my stomach, of all places, to look for a warning sign. And it never came. It still isn't there. So I say, onward and upward.

*Sigh*

I'm feeling somewhat out of sorts today - I've had a very busy month and am looking forward to an opportunity to just be still. That won't happen today, though, as I have an appointment on the east side right after work and then will head down to Canton to meet with friends to continue planning for my best friend's pending bridal shower. Don't get me wrong, I like to be busy but my apartment, of all things, is beginning to show signs of my never being home and me just throwing stuff down when I do get a chance to stop in before I'm off to my next engagement.

Of course, my schedule will change dramatically next week as I will no longer be trudging to a 9 to 5 job, at least not for the next few weeks. It will give me a chance to step up for my search for jobs that will help me make ends meet while I'm in school. Hopefully, it will also give me a chance to continue regular postings for this blog as well. I'd like to think I have interesting insights and perhaps other people reading would think so too...

In saying that, I'm still toying with the philosophy of this blog and what I want it to convey about who I am and how I see the world. I'm not even so sure about the title but part of me doesn't want to give it up. I always said if I had a rock or pop band, I would christen it "Lipgloss Addiction"... but since it doesn't appear that I will be forming or joining a band anytime I soon, I want this moniker to be proudly displayed somewhere... It's something for me to ponder, I suppose.

I guess all will be decided within the next few weeks or months. Or maybe I will abandon the idea of blogging altogether. I hope not. Only time will tell.

Lipgloss Addiction Redeux

Where does the time go??? It's the end of July - school will be starting soon and summer will slowly but surely become just a lovely memory. And with the end of summer, comes the end of my nine year career as a social worker. I have decided to walk away from my life as an advocate for crime victims and finally begin work on a Master's degree in a completely unrelated field. As I stated in the description for my pending end-of-career happy hour, I will make the jump from burnt out professional career woman to stressed-out struggling grad student and truly, I can't wait. I gave a lengthy notice and it has been longest six weeks of my life. But as this week begins to speed by, I have become a very wistful young woman.

As my time as an advocate comes to an end, I think more and more about the fact that a very big part of what has defined me since graduating from college will be over. I have strived to try and make the world a better place for people whose lives have been touched by crimes and tragedy that, unless you have experienced it firsthand or know someone who has, are way more terrifying than anything you could ever imagine. I have tried to help navigate victims and survivors of crime through a "justice" system that in reality, could very often care less about them. The stories I have heard and the things I have seen will stay with me forever, even if I don't want them to.

As I move on, I won't have to dwell as often on words like rape, murder, domestic violence, or torture and mutilation anymore, but the victims I have worked with over the years won't ever forget and my rose-colored glasses were ripped off a long time ago. There is much that is dark and evil that lurks in this world. And all of our reality shows, fashion magazines, and pop culture fascinations in the end can't save us from the simple fact that bad things happen to good people every single second of every single minute of every single day.

But don't expect me to be the one to give up on looking for the next bargain bin offer or to call off my never-ending search for the perfect lipstick color. And I shudder at the thought of cancelling my cable in order to pay my bills while I'm in school. It's true that I have reveled in the shallow world of cosmetics and pop culture to keep the stress out of my life and to unwind after a particularly brutal day. Hell, I would love nothing more than to take my Master's degree and use it to work in training & development for cosmetic companies galore. It's a self-contradiction I can recognize and live with. But I can't help but wonder if there is a better way to put my thoughts and musing to good use - I have much more to say on the world as a whole. And so this is where my story will end and yet begin again...

Does the World Really Need Another Blogger?

Probably not, but after many years of acquiring and honing my knowledge of the everyday beauty product, I decided I wanted to share my tips and secrets with others. Things such as my favorite drugstore make-up brands, which stores actually have clothes to fit the average gal that many designers seem to forget about, and those stores that accept returns on make-up, even if it's already been opened. It might sound silly but those are the kinds of things that as a product junkie, I want to know about.

Why else? Well, I have a shameful love for fashion magazines and when I discovered Allure a few years ago, I was in heaven. It is, quite simply, porn for make-up addicts and I love it. So much so that I subscribe for two years at a time, which I never do, not even for other magazines I enjoy just as much. But I can't help but wonder if the products praised and adored in fashion magazines aren't somehow influenced by the fact that the companies who own those products are also shilling their advertisements in those very same pages. Is there any way for editors to be truly objective?

Maybe, maybe not. My background is not in communications or journalism so it's possible I have no idea what I'm talking about (which for as much I hate to admit it, sometimes happens), but I think it's much better to get an opinion from someone who has no agenda, someone who isn't supermodel beautiful, someone who most likely spends more on beauty products than the average bear but doesn't have the money to drop hundreds of dollars at a time on Creme de La Mer (but maybe someday would like to be able to)...

That someone, of course, is me. As you may have already noticed, I describe myself as an everyday, fabulously average young woman, which is true. And I mean average in a positive way - we can't all be rock stars.

As for me, I'm not tall, thin, or effortlessly stop-dead-in-your-tracks beautiful; in fact, I am petite (a nice way of saying short), curvy (an even nicer way of saying chubby), look like death warmed over in the mornings, am constantly at odds with my hair, have my fat months and my skinny months, am usually disheveled by the end of the day, love taking hours getting glammed up when going out and about, usually have about 5 minutes to get ready for the workday, and work in a job that doesn't necessarily embrace or appreciate when people take the time to look fashionably professional.

And I know there are many of us who are in the same fabulously average boat together; we struggle to be happy with who we are even while the pages of the very fashion magazines we love tell us otherwise. Because of that, I want to share a point of view that has been developed by my many years of searching for those cosmetics, skin/haircare products, and clothes that are easy to use, easy to find, make me feel beautiful, can fit into the many budget sizes I've had over the years, and are just downright fun.

Products that can be found anywhere from drugstores, discount stores, ebay, department stores, speciality shops and boutiques. And like so many others I know, I am also constantly aware of the fact that my love for what can be construed as superficial is sometimes at odds with my feminist ideals. So why not eventually talk about that too?

My other reason for jumping into the world of blogging? I get a thrill when someone asks me where I got the lipgloss or the shirt I'm wearing or the bag I'm carrying and I get to tell them all about it. So, I figured why not take my love for products, my love for journaling, and my love for information sharing, wrap it in a glossy bow, and Voila!

And one last thing... I know that many of us fabulously average women have no desire to wear make-up or don't care about the fact that green, yellow, and orange are some of the hot colors for the spring. Maybe they have kids (I don't) and the last thing on their mind is Sephora's newest catalog. I get it. An insane, slightly obssessed love for cosmetics is not for everyone. But I always say that the power of some lipgloss, mascara, highlights or even some minty chapstick to brighten one's day should never be underestimated.

So, I hope you will enjoy reading my upcoming musings on what I affectionately refer to as my lipgloss addiction. Be careful, it might be contagious...