I'm feeling somewhat out of sorts today - I've had a very busy month and am looking forward to an opportunity to just be still. That won't happen today, though, as I have an appointment on the east side right after work and then will head down to Canton to meet with friends to continue planning for my best friend's pending bridal shower. Don't get me wrong, I like to be busy but my apartment, of all things, is beginning to show signs of my never being home and me just throwing stuff down when I do get a chance to stop in before I'm off to my next engagement.
Of course, my schedule will change dramatically next week as I will no longer be trudging to a 9 to 5 job, at least not for the next few weeks. It will give me a chance to step up for my search for jobs that will help me make ends meet while I'm in school. Hopefully, it will also give me a chance to continue regular postings for this blog as well. I'd like to think I have interesting insights and perhaps other people reading would think so too...
In saying that, I'm still toying with the philosophy of this blog and what I want it to convey about who I am and how I see the world. I'm not even so sure about the title but part of me doesn't want to give it up. I always said if I had a rock or pop band, I would christen it "Lipgloss Addiction"... but since it doesn't appear that I will be forming or joining a band anytime I soon, I want this moniker to be proudly displayed somewhere... It's something for me to ponder, I suppose.
I guess all will be decided within the next few weeks or months. Or maybe I will abandon the idea of blogging altogether. I hope not. Only time will tell.
July 29, 2008
July 28, 2008
Lipgloss Addiction Redeux
Where does the time go??? It's the end of July - school will be starting soon and summer will slowly but surely become just a lovely memory. And with the end of summer, comes the end of my nine year career as a social worker. I have decided to walk away from my life as an advocate for crime victims and finally begin work on a Master's degree in a completely unrelated field. As I stated in the description for my pending end-of-career happy hour, I will make the jump from burnt out professional career woman to stressed-out struggling grad student and truly, I can't wait. I gave a lengthy notice and it has been longest six weeks of my life. But as this week begins to speed by, I have become a very wistful young woman.
As my time as an advocate comes to an end, I think more and more about the fact that a very big part of what has defined me since graduating from college will be over. I have strived to try and make the world a better place for people whose lives have been touched by crimes and tragedy that, unless you have experienced it firsthand or know someone who has, are way more terrifying than anything you could ever imagine. I have tried to help navigate victims and survivors of crime through a "justice" system that in reality, could very often care less about them. The stories I have heard and the things I have seen will stay with me forever, even if I don't want them to.
As I move on, I won't have to dwell as often on words like rape, murder, domestic violence, or torture and mutilation anymore, but the victims I have worked with over the years won't ever forget and my rose-colored glasses were ripped off a long time ago. There is much that is dark and evil that lurks in this world. And all of our reality shows, fashion magazines, and pop culture fascinations in the end can't save us from the simple fact that bad things happen to good people every single second of every single minute of every single day.
But don't expect me to be the one to give up on looking for the next bargain bin offer or to call off my never-ending search for the perfect lipstick color. And I shudder at the thought of cancelling my cable in order to pay my bills while I'm in school. It's true that I have reveled in the shallow world of cosmetics and pop culture to keep the stress out of my life and to unwind after a particularly brutal day. Hell, I would love nothing more than to take my Master's degree and use it to work in training & development for cosmetic companies galore. It's a self-contradiction I can recognize and live with. But I can't help but wonder if there is a better way to put my thoughts and musing to good use - I have much more to say on the world as a whole. And so this is where my story will end and yet begin again...
As my time as an advocate comes to an end, I think more and more about the fact that a very big part of what has defined me since graduating from college will be over. I have strived to try and make the world a better place for people whose lives have been touched by crimes and tragedy that, unless you have experienced it firsthand or know someone who has, are way more terrifying than anything you could ever imagine. I have tried to help navigate victims and survivors of crime through a "justice" system that in reality, could very often care less about them. The stories I have heard and the things I have seen will stay with me forever, even if I don't want them to.
As I move on, I won't have to dwell as often on words like rape, murder, domestic violence, or torture and mutilation anymore, but the victims I have worked with over the years won't ever forget and my rose-colored glasses were ripped off a long time ago. There is much that is dark and evil that lurks in this world. And all of our reality shows, fashion magazines, and pop culture fascinations in the end can't save us from the simple fact that bad things happen to good people every single second of every single minute of every single day.
But don't expect me to be the one to give up on looking for the next bargain bin offer or to call off my never-ending search for the perfect lipstick color. And I shudder at the thought of cancelling my cable in order to pay my bills while I'm in school. It's true that I have reveled in the shallow world of cosmetics and pop culture to keep the stress out of my life and to unwind after a particularly brutal day. Hell, I would love nothing more than to take my Master's degree and use it to work in training & development for cosmetic companies galore. It's a self-contradiction I can recognize and live with. But I can't help but wonder if there is a better way to put my thoughts and musing to good use - I have much more to say on the world as a whole. And so this is where my story will end and yet begin again...
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